It may not be easy to bond with your in-laws, but it’s not impossible either!
Many couples find themselves jittery around their respective in-laws. While bonding with them is important, many do not know how to go about achieving, what seems like a mammoth aim. Here are the top 10 tips to help you bond with your in-laws and build a strong relationship you will always be proud of.
It is rightly said that when you marry someone, you also marry his/her family; and so, not only do you have to accept your in-laws, but also their cultures, customs, values and way of doing things. Often, the difference in the way you like to do things and how your in-laws prefer it done, causes friction in your relationship with your in-laws. These small, but frequent tiffs if not handled well, could sour your relationship with them for life.
Here’s what you can do to maintain a cordial relationship with your in-laws:
Tip 1: Listen to them
Your in-laws have been there and done that, when they were of your age. The tips and advises they give are out of sheer experience and with a motive to help you tackle a situation. Listen to them, irrespective of whether or not you follow their advice later. Just listening to them, saves you from earning the tag of being disrespectful.
Tip 2: Accept them as they are
Remember, it is tough to get people to change attitudes and opinions at your in-laws age; it’s easier however, to change your reactions (if not outlook) to things instead. Compromising with them at times can go a long way in helping you maintain a healthy relationship.
Tip 3: Communicate with them regularly
If you and your in-laws live separately, ensure you meet them now and then, or else, catch up through phone calls frequently. Frequent communication helps in creating great in-law bonding.
Tip 4: Make them feel important
It is important to let your in-laws feel, that you are always happy to have them around. When they are visiting you, ensure that they feel comfortable in your house. Make their birthdays and anniversaries special, by throwing a surprise party for them or getting flowers or gifts delivered if they live in a different state. Children love to hang around with their grandparents and vice-versa. Ensure you don’t deprive the grandparents the joy of bonding with their grand children; instead try and give the two some time alone.
Tip 5: Attend family functions
Try and mark your attendance at your spouse’s family functions like birthdays, marriages and re-unions. When possible, you should take your children along too. These occasions will not only help you know your partner’s extended family, but will also make your in-laws feel that you care for and enjoy the company of their family members.
Tip 6: Speak positive about your partner in front of your in-laws
No parent likes to hear unpleasant things about their children; you as a parent included. Hence, try avoiding saying anything negative about your partner in front of your in-laws.
Tip 7: Stay out of arguments between your partner and your in-laws
It’s best to stay out of such arguments and let your partner handle his family his way. If you try and interfere and take any side, you will stand to lose either ways; you will end up straining your relationship either with your husband or your in-laws.
Tip 8: Don’t involve your partner in your tiffs with your in-laws
No matter how much you try, once in a while you are bound to land up in a tiff with your in-laws. Keep your partner out of this situation, as it is going to be difficult for him to take sides too. Instead, cool down and try and solve the problem amicably yourself.
Tip 9: Help around when in your in-laws house
Give a helping hand whenever possible. Run errands for them, which they otherwise can’t find time or energy to do, like helping to mow the lawns, clean the garage, get the car repaired and so on. They will always appreciate the care and concern you show for them.
Tip 10: Be your own judge
You don’t always have to bow to your in-laws commands; this would lead to frustration and will never let you work on maintaining a cordial relationship with your in-laws. It may also in-turn lead to having bossy in-laws around the house. Do not always listen to your in-laws to please them and regret later. Use your discretion as to what’s best –your way of tackling a situation, or, as advised by them and act accordingly.
Approach your relationship with your in-laws with a positive bent of mind and you will always relish the bond you build with them.